In a revelation that has sent conspiracy theorists into a frenzy of I-told-you-so glee, leaked reports have allegedly confirmed that billionaire philanthropist and right-wing boogeyman George Soros paid $1 million to each ABC debate moderator. Yes, you read that right. According to these new claims, David Muir and Linsey Davis, the two moderators who fact-checked their way through a fiery debate between Donald Trump and Kamala Harris, may have been handsomely compensated—not just by ABC, but by the mysterious forces of globalism.

Move over, Illuminati, there’s a new club in town, and apparently, they’re paying moderators in seven figures to—brace yourself—tell the truth.

The leaked documents, which emerged under shady circumstances (is there any other way?), suggest that Soros personally funneled $1 million each to Muir and Davis through a web of charitable foundations, shadowy organizations, and possibly even a bake sale. Within minutes of the leak hitting the dark corners of the internet, hashtags like #SorosBoughtABC and #ModeratorsForHire began trending on X (formerly Twitter), with conspiracy theorists clutching their keyboards like Olympic torchbearers.

“WE KNEW IT!” one user screamed into the void that is social media. “Soros is literally paying people to fact-check Trump!!!” Another user, clearly ahead of the curve, tweeted, “Soros owns the truth now, huh? And here I thought it was free.”

Of course, no conspiracy is complete without a picture of Soros looking particularly nefarious—cue the shadowy headshots and vague “deep state” memes.

For Muir and Davis, the accusation couldn’t have come at a stranger time. They had just spent the evening trying to wrangle two political figures more interested in talking past each other than actually engaging in any meaningful discourse. Little did they know, their fact-checking prowess would make them the latest victims of the Soros industrial complex—or at least that’s what the internet thinks.

According to the leaked report, the $1 million was specifically to ensure that Trump’s claims about Democrats supporting “baby executions” and immigrants eating pets in Ohio were promptly debunked. Because apparently, fact-checking a candidate with a long history of hyperbole is not something a professional journalist would do of their own accord. No, it takes a Soros-funded bank transfer to make that happen.

One particularly outraged commentator on a popular conspiracy blog wrote, “If it wasn’t for Soros, they would have let Trump speak his truth! Now they’re censoring him with facts, which we all know are just opinions with good PR.”

For those unfamiliar with the folklore of modern-day conspiracy theories, George Soros is the omnipresent figure who, according to the internet, funds every liberal cause under the sun. From climate change activism to fact-checking presidential debates, Soros is apparently the invisible hand pulling all the strings. You know that pothole on your street? Probably Soros. Your favorite coffee shop ran out of oat milk? Soros again.

But this time, he’s taken his supposed influence to new heights. The leaked report claims that Soros wasn’t just paying Muir and Davis to correct Trump—he was paying them to “undermine democracy by promoting factual integrity.” Because in 2024, telling the truth has apparently become a radical act of globalist treachery.

When asked to comment on the leaked report, Soros—who, by all accounts, should be tired of being blamed for everything by now—simply said, “I’m flattered that people think I’m this powerful. But, honestly, I was too busy buying out all the oat milk in Brooklyn to get involved in the debates.”

In the wake of the leaked report, ABC has found itself in an awkward position. On one hand, they’re trying to defend their moderators from the absurd accusations that they’re Soros puppets. On the other, they’re facing the wrath of the internet’s conspiracy brigade, who now believe that every fact-check on their network is somehow part of a grander scheme to control the narrative.

ABC executives released a carefully worded statement, denying any outside influence over their moderators’ actions: “Our moderators uphold the highest standards of journalistic integrity and are not influenced by outside parties. Except, of course, the undeniable power of facts and logic.”

But the damage had already been done. Muir and Davis are now internet celebrities—not for their debate moderation, but for their alleged windfall courtesy of George Soros. Memes featuring the moderators lounging on yachts, drinking champagne labeled “Truth Juice,” and toasting to their mysterious benefactor have flooded social media.

One particularly viral meme features Muir in sunglasses, holding a stack of cash with the caption: “Fact-checked Trump and all I got was this lousy million dollars.”

As with all good conspiracy theories, this one didn’t stop at Muir and Davis. Soon, other journalists were being accused of receiving hefty Soros paychecks for their work. Anderson Cooper? Definitely on the payroll. Rachel Maddow? Practically Soros’ personal spokesperson. Even Bob the local weather guy was dragged into the mess, with conspiracy theorists accusing him of subtly promoting climate change propaganda every time he mentioned a warm front.

In this new reality, where facts are suspect and million-dollar payouts are apparently just a day’s work for journalists, nothing seems too far-fetched. One blogger even suggested that Soros had orchestrated the entire debate format, ensuring that candidates would be fact-checked only when it suited his “globalist agenda.”

Of course, the more likely explanation—that Muir and Davis were simply doing their jobs as journalists—was quickly dismissed. “It’s never that simple,” wrote one conspiracy theorist. “There’s always a deeper agenda. Always follow the money.”

As the conspiracy spreads, and Muir and Davis settle into their new roles as “Soros’ million-dollar moderators,” the question remains: will the truth ever regain its place in public discourse, or has fact-checking now become synonymous with corruption in the eyes of the public?

In the world of leaked reports, shadowy figures, and million-dollar accusations, it seems that truth has taken a backseat to sensationalism. Whether or not Muir and Davis were ever on Soros’ payroll (spoiler alert: they weren’t), the damage is done. The internet is convinced, and no amount of fact-checking will change that.

As one user tweeted, “In 2024, you either die a journalist or live long enough to see yourself become a Soros puppet.”

And with that, the modern political circus marches on—facts, as always, optional.