Relationship coach Jon Dillow has explained what we should be saying instead
A relationship coach said he thinks couples should stop saying 'I love you'.
Experts have long been listing things you should absolutely not say to your partner if you don't want to find yourself swiftly single, but you wouldn't think 'I love you' would be one of them.
Yet relationship coach Jon Dillow has taken to TikTok explaining why we should think twice before saying those three magic words to our significant other.
Advert
He said: "If you frequently tell your partner 'I love you', I want you to stop."
And he's even suggested some of the things we should be saying instead.
In a relationship that first time saying 'I love you' is a leap into the unknown, you're putting yourself out there for someone who means everything to you and giving them the power to either crush your heart into tiny pieces or make you feel amazing.
Of course if it all goes well that initial 'I love you', a moment that might end up becoming a core memory for you, will be the first of many.
Advert
Before long you'll be saying 'I love you' because your partner remembered to fold up the bags for life and put them in the cupboard under the sink.
And that's when Dillow says the phrase loses all meaning.
He continued: "Yes, saying those words affirming your love to your partner, it is a good thing.
Advert
"But if you say 'I love you' every time you hang up the phone or every time you greet each other in the morning or see each other at the end of the day it can start to become rote and meaningless."
What should you say instead of 'I love you'?
Thankfully, Dillow has some suggestions for other ways to make your partner feel appreciated without overusing those crucial three words.
He said: "Instead of 'I love you', try one of the following: 'I'm looking forward to seeing you', 'I so enjoy doing life together', 'I'm so thankful to have a partner who – fill in the blank – I hope you know that', 'I probably don't tell you this enough but you really make my life better, I'm so thankful to be with you'.
Advert
"Even hearing me say this you can probably feel just how much more meaningful these very specific phrases are as opposed to just a quick general 'I love you' every time you get off the phone.
"This isn't to say that saying 'I love you' doesn't have value, but if your goal is to communicate your love and affection being more specific about what you're saying is probably more effective at accomplishing that goal."
This is one dollop of relationship advice which didn't seem to strike much of a chord with the audience, as the comments below were full of people disagreeing with him.
Advert
People said 'you never know when it will be the last time' and that the phrase 'never becomes meaningless because you say it so often'.
Someone else added that it's 'about making sure you do things authentically', so if you meant it then all of those times saying 'I love you' wouldn't become rote and routine.
"If the person really loves you, they never get tired of hearing the words," was another opinion offered in the comments.
If you want to keep telling that special someone in your life 'I love you', then public opinion would seem to overwhelmingly support you in this.
Topics: Sex and Relationships, TikTok
